Ellbert Sarmas

In his dreams he still felt the flames. They licked his skin and clawed into his flesh like the monsters he feared lay in wait under his bed. The scent of his body burning filled his nostrils and he didn't know what it was, only that it was the worst thing he had ever smelled. There was pain, too. Unbearable pain that flooded all other sensations and turned the world into a red haze. It was almost too much for him to endure, the call of death almost too strong.

Worst of all was the screaming. It was everywhere. It was coming from the houses next door, the room where his parents slept. It was coming from him. People were hurting, dying. Their screams were the embodiment of that pain and suffering, of their last breaths expelled into the world with anguish and utter meaninglessness.

There were gruff words spoken in a language he didn't know nearby. The heat and pain got worse. Someone grabbed hold of his collar and flung him down to the ground and the screams of his family and friends were drowned out by the crackling of fire and an odd hissing and popping that seemed to be coming from him, though he didn't know he could make those sounds.

Surely he would die now. Even at such a young age he knew he couldn't survive this. This was the end, this was-

Ellbert awoke with the last vestige of a scream on his lips.

The heat he felt was from the blankets wrapped tightly around his body, nearly suffocating him. Breath came hard and fast and he struggled to tear the coverings from himself in his state of near panic. Sweat beaded in his hair but did little to cool him as it ran down his neck.

“Ugh, Bert shut up or leave for fucks sake.” The voice he heard was not the stranger from his dream, who spoke in growls and laughter, but the voice of one of his classmates who shared the room with him and two others. “Stop being a baby.”

There were murmurs of agreement from the beds of the other boys, all of whom had been jolted awake by Ellbert's scream. It was unfortunately something they were used to.

In the cover of darkness Ellbert blushed at their words, hot crimson painting the pale of his neck and cheeks. He wished he could shut up. He didn't want to dream about that night anymore and he didn't want to give the boys yet another reason to hate him.

Knowing sleep wouldn't come again tonight he crawled out of his bunk and left the room, grabbing his cloak on the way. It was better for everyone if he stayed away for the next few hours. Well, better for his classmates, and better for him only if he didn't get caught.

As he shut the door behind him and started down the vast corridor Ellbert pulled on his cloak and hide his face within the hood. There was no one to see him at this hour but the recesses of the hood made him feel safer and more at ease. He was able to hide within it, to keep the burned and twisted right side of his face from full view.

His footsteps echoed through the empty halls and chambers he passed. All else was silent within the Jedi Academy's walls, all of its inhabitants either deep in slumber or meditation. Ellbert liked this time of the night best, those few hours right before the sun rose and everything woke to its light. During these hours he could move about without constantly fearing the japes and stares of the other jedis in training and even, rarely, their teachers.

After following the maze of dark halls that four years of travel had made instinctual, Ellbert came at last to a wall of tall glass windows that overlooked the nightscape outside the academy. Countless starts blinked endlessly in the sky and he knew somewhere among them was his home and his parents, both of which he might never see again. The loneliness and the fading memories of his dream threatened to consume him then and he felt slick tears begin to run down his cheeks.

“You know it's against the rules to be out of your bed.”

Startled, Ellbert jumped towards the sound of the voice. Sitting on the stone floor close to the window was a twi'lek, his blue skin reflecting the light of the moon. “Master Rezdati!” Ellbert lowered his head, tried to surreptitiously wipe away his tears. “I'm sorry.”

It wasn't the first time Ellbert had been caught out of bed, but it was the first time Master Rezdati had been the one to catch him. Ellbert didn't want to raise his head to look at the twi'lek. He was too ashamed. He looked up to the jedi too much for him to see his tears again.

It had been Master Rezdati that had found him four years ago, after the raid on his village. After the fire. The kind young jedi had helped dry his tears back then, and helped to heal the burn that had melted so much of the skin on his face. He had brought Ellbert here, to the academy. He believed in Ellbert.

Sneaking out was no way to repay him.

“How did you know?” he finally asked, raising his head only enough to look look at Rezdati from beneath his hood.

“I sensed your pain, and your fear. It woke me.” Rezdati smiled at him then, and he was once again the young man who had rescued him. “I know this is where you like to hide out, padawan.”

Ellbert didn't know what to say. He was ashamed that his fear had disturbed the jedi. It was still hard to control, and he feared he did a poor job of it when compared to the others his age. Ten years was not enough time to learn to master his emotions, yet it seemed expected of him. He was still a child, and a child whose past was more tragic than many of the others here.

“Do not be ashamed by your past; it will only control you. You must let it go.” In shock Ellbert lifted his head enough for his hood to fall back, revealing the scarred landscape of his face. Did Rezdati just read his mind? Would he be able to do that one day?

“I...I'm trying. I cant-” he stammered, the flush on his skin threatening more tears. He wanted so much to be able to do what Master Rezdati told him. Maybe he just wasn't meant to be a jedi. Maybe they would send him home.

“You can. You can,” Rezdati said, his voice comforting and ernest. He stood and walked over to Ellbert, ruffled his hair and smiled. “You'll make a great jedi, Ellbert. Have faith, and don't let the other's bother you so much.”

He manged a weak smile as the older man walked back to the window and again took a seat. “Thank you, Master. I'll go back to my room now.”

“Oh? You don't want to sit and mediate with me?”

Ellbert was sure he had misheard Rezdati. He was out of bed, breaking the rules, and yet was offered the honor of mediating with a master? Usually students only got to do that while in class, and for him it was the best part of the day. He couldn't contain the excited smile that flashed across his face at the special treatment. “Really? You'd let me?”

Rezdati chuckled and motioned towards the floor beside him. “Of course. Sit down and let us welcome the dawn.”